Oh, the cookie-cutter college system...

One of my biggest pet peeves about school is how seriously overloaded students are when they come back from a vacation. Honestly, I'm sure professors are still adjusting back from break mode, so why can't they make it easier for themselves and for us to just ease back into the routine of gauging our eyeballs our nightly over assigned reading and writing papers we don't give a shit about? It's silly how they bombard us with even MORE stuff than we'd normally be assigned to cover lost time. It's called a break for a reason. One of my teachers even thought it'd be funny to give us a midterm two days after returning from spring break. What a hoot, huh?! That's a whole ordeal I'd rather not get into, though.

Instead, I'd like to talk about one of my most recent concerns regarding this college life, and that's what exactly I am going to school for. I'm so jealous of people who have a determined head set on their shoulders, life's plans already written in the back of their mind and a clear-cut view of the future just beyond the mountaintops. You know who I'm talking about... the business students who are going to apply straight into firms post-grad, the pre-meds cramming their Bio and Chem credits in now so they can take those fall back career credits, JUST IN CASE... I have a friend who applied into a six-year pharmacy program at St. Johns, and she's going to be able to walk into any drugstore and start selling prescription meds the minute she graduates. WHY COULDN'T I HAVE BEEN GIVEN THAT KIND OF INNER GUIDANCE?

My college orientation leaders gave my group great advice over the summer, and that was to fulfill all of our MAP requisites (or basic degree reqs, for non-NYU folk) as soon as possible. Great, so now I've gotten all of my CAS degree requirements out of the way... and I still don't know what major I want to declare. Hey, I'm fucked three ways from Sunday! I'm debating either transferring into other schools to do (a) a Studio Art major, or (b) an individualized course of study to pursue a major that's involved with graphic/media art, like digital design and photography and video editing. But part of me worries about how much I'll really love this, if I'll get bored. Maybe I should go into advertisement? Or public relations... I don't really know. UGH FUCK MY LIFE. There is so much I would potentially want to get into, and I wish there was one way to mesh it all together to make my heart and mind happy at the same time. I guess a little more experimentation in the kitchen is necessary since I haven't figured out my own recipe to happiness.

But less bleakly... party this weekend is going to be intensely off the chain. Won't give out much details before the fact, but if I go down for this one.... I'll be going down proudly. A captain with her ship! Time to call it a night. Au revoir, mes cheries.

Nose.

Packing my things to head back to the city tonight would probably be a lot more useful than writing in my newly re-named blog right now, but whatevs. ASK ME IF I CARE. The truth is that i just really despise packing and wait until the last minute whenever i have to do it. This usually involves stuffing all my things very non-neatly into suitcases and duffel bags.

The other truth is that i have absolutely no idea what my blog name is supposed to mean. It sounded cool in my head, at least.

Overall, I wouldn't say my spring break was that great... actually, it was pretty mundane. But I got to see a lot of friends that i missed really badly and that has to count for something. I also bought a shitload of new clothes and other things i needed, like some cute new underwear, socks, leggings, jackets. Time to gather all of my old goods and put them in bags to give away. I've never actually thrown out clothing, and i can't imagine what it's like. Except I'm not going to have anywhere at school to put all my old shit once i decide what i do and don't want anymore. I guess i'm going to have to wait until I come home at the end of the semester... BOO CLUTTER. I legit despise not having more space in my dorm room!

Tonight is Coco and Lisa's birthday celebration thing at Stolen Transmission. It is apparently also going to be the afterparty for the Tilly and the Wall show tonight. I'm assuming it is going to be some level of ridiculous, if not by my own guess then by the following image made by their friend Derek:



Oh and I bought tickets today to go see Lisa Lampanelli in September at Radio City Music Hall. She's so hysterical, i'm genuinely excited to go see her! It's also my first time going to a comedy show, so that should be interesting to say the least.

Time to pack, and by pack I mean inadequately shove all of my belongings into tight spaces they don't fit into. Til next time, my faithful friends!!

SO STOKED!!

Edgar Wright is going to be directing Scott Pilgrim's Little Life, starring Michael Cera.

IT'S ALMOST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. One of my favorite actors collaborating with one of my favorite directors. In case anyone was wondering, Edgar Wright is the amazing dude who directed both Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. Edgar Wright is such a sheer perfectionist, almost to Kubrick craft.... this film better be amazing or my faith in a higher power may just be unrestorable forever.

YAY SUPERFICIAL SHOPPING POSTS.

I think I may actually go to bed before 11pm tonight... my friend Willa just videochatted me and I was like a fucking zombie. She kept asking me questions and I was giving her answers that didn't even correspond to the topic. Such is the life after staying up until 4am the night before smoking hookah and watching Mean Girls.

Today Clara and I went on a much needed shopping spree, on my part anyway. Shopping is such a bipolar area for me. My parents buy me all of my clothing for the most part, especially now that I have my own credit card. But the Jew in me always creeps out from the back of my mind and self-criticizes for spending so much money. How much is too much on clothing, really? I don't go shopping in fancy department stores or boutiques, H&M is my favorite store and they're relatively cheap. Though I also love American Apparel as of recent, especially with one so close to school in the city.

Anyway, I got a really cute springy dress in Urban Outfitters that is so not like what else I usually wear but i LOVE it. Plus I sometimes have a difficult time with Urban since they only go up to size L and I am not the skinniest girl in the world.... but this dress was surprisingly perfect in that aspect, too. Here is a picture, since words can only describe how I adore it to a certain extent..



I also bought a pair of flats, flip-flops, a scarfy bandana thing, a Union Jack tshirt, cute foliage earrings, some shirts from H&M, leggings, and a refill of some MAC eyeshadow that was running low. Overall, I would say it was an EXTREMELY successful shopping day! It also included some green tea ice cream, which is always a plus.

What I still need: A black fitted skirt, a black shirt with drapey sleeves for SX5, more leggings.

I also need to lose some fucking weight. Back to strict Slim Fast as soon as I wake up tomorrow, since I got disgustingly more heavy at school.... UGGHUGHUGUHGUHUGH.

To address in the next blog:
- How amazing the rest of my spring break is, once this has actually happened
- The excellence that is British Sea Power
- Learning guitar and eventually writing my own music.
- Other shenanigans, I'm sure.

I don't want to go to my video art class at 2pm but it seems like fair compensation for skipping my Conwest recitation earlier today. And at least my video art professor is kickass and not a cunt like my Conwest TA.

Just now I decided that I'm not cleaning our apartment before I go home for spring break. I know I'll be the one who ends up cleaning it since my roommates fucking suck and are disgusting pigs but if they don't care enough to put in the effort before we are gone for a week, then I'm not going to either. So there.

Speaking of roommates, I had a very awkward encounter with suitemate V this morning. I woke up to take a shower and get ready for my film recitation, and the bathroom door was slightly ajar so I thought I'd knock to be safe. No response, so I open the door....and she was standing there fully nude. Of course I apologized profusely, but why would you leave the door open AND not answer me if you're not wearing any clothes??! Needless to say, I didn't get to shower since she didn't get out until 10 minutes before I had to leave.

Pinkberry is delicious. The new one on St. Marks opened yesterday so Alex and I went down. He didn't enjoy it as much but it was his first time, so he'll be craving it like crack in a week accordingly. They probably make it with crack to be honest.

Oh and on the topic of food, last night I went to one of those chicken vendors outside of Palladium, the dorm down the street from mine, to get a really late dinner while working on a paper. It was the first time I've had chicken in a month so I was excited, and then I ask one of the Indian guys working there to put the white yogurty sauce on it that tastes really good. And you know what he says to me?

"Sure, some white sauce for the white girl.... get it? White because you are white skin!"

WHAT THE FUCK. I don't understand how someone could even have the audacity to say something like that in this day and age. I would never say something like that to anyone, no matter who they were or what color their skin was. And to a complete stranger who is buying food from you??? UGH, RACISM SUCKS. PERIOD.

why i shouldn't be allowed to have a blog: 1am on thursday edition

i'm looking through some pictures from the beginning of the school year and for some reason, it's leaving me super depressed. there is something so vivacious there in my face, something mildly excited and fresh and curious, something that has clouded over in my eyes since then. i used to be so happy-go-lucky and try my hardest to make everyone around me smile so that they'd be filled with just as much joy as i was. but lately i've felt like tarnished goods, like i'm malignant or spoiled in some way. the wiring between my head and heart is fragmented on the inside and the current can't flow through like it did before. i'm more blood than electricity these days, more cell than spark. i miss the feeling of being inhuman, of being invincible. it seems to be one defeat after another dragging me down chord by chord, sucking me dry from the socket. my battery has drained out of the energy i previously had to waste on making other people happy; now i don't even have it to use on myself. i'm running on empty. and i need to reboot before i crash completely.

What's wrong with you, eh lad?

This weekend was legit batshit insanity. Court (the artist formerly known as Courtface, now to henceforth be called Coco) came into the city and we went to Hanger Bar for Stolen Transmission. Nicole the bartender made me some weird ass drink with ginger cognac, which is weird b/c I like neither ginger NOR cognac unless mixed with something else...I also put in cherry juice. I liked it, everyone else thought it tasted like cough syrup. Maybe I'm more masochistic than I thought! We also went hookah and then came home and was appropriately tired.

Saturday was even more crazy, since it was my suitemate Eunsan's fashion show and I promised I'd help out. It was day of basically making phonecalls last minute to find models, buying a ton of fake eyelashes and stockings, and running around like a crazy person making sure everyone was in their costumes and had makeup done. But the show turned out great and everyone looked stunning! Eunsan went last, and let me tell you, her vinyl lingerie dominatrix line and our friends who wore the stuff were WAY more fun than the stuffy holier-than-thou shit that was coming down the runway first. With a song like "I'm So Horny" by Mousse T. playing in the background, it couldn't be anything other than fun.

A little later some unnecessary drunken shenanigans happened....it's not worth getting into but I will say it ended with a 7:30am trip to Times Square for breakfast and my roommate having to go to the emergency room the next day for a sliced finger. YOUR BLOOD IS LOOOOVE

And yesterday my love Willa came into the city to spend the night after roomie and I got back from the hospital. We had some silly times jamming to 90s dance tunes... La Bouche still makes me such a happy bitch. Combine this with delicious food from Curly's and my newest obsession, SoulCalibur 3 and it was a pretty awesome night overall. I was still a little depressed about some of the previous night's events but Willa coming to visit def cheered me up mucho.

Spring break needs to be here RIGHT NOW. I cannot do this functioning thing at school right now. I just want to go home and feel comfortable and relaxed and spend time with my friends from high school and see my family and my dog and drive around Long Island not caring how much gas I'm wasting and go to the beach and have brunch at Grand Lux Cafe and buy some new clothes for spring and just enjoy life.

Not that I don't enjoy life here, since I do....but I need my homely comfort. I miss it and my high school life a lot lately. Everything here just seems very complicated. Maybe its because I'm actually LIVING now... and that is sometimes a lot.

Long Island does NOT equal New Jersey.

Because Long Island doesn't smell like dead bodies. But i dunno, maybe it does in Suffolk county between Nassau and the Hamptons... wouldn't really know though!

This headache has lasted me legit two days and counting. I'm not sure what it is because Advil isn't helping and neither is Sudafed. Maybe I cracked my skull open accidentially in my sleep or something? Not really sure.

I skipped film class today because I wasn't feeling well and spent the day doing work, playing SoulCalibur III (which my friend Andy has gotten me addicted to...little does he know I get quite attached to fighting games), and working out at the gym. Oh and I also obvs caught the Project Runway finale... Christian FTW! It doesn't get any more fierce than that bitch.

Tomorow's plans are go to class ALL day, pick up some food and more Slim Fast on the way home from said classes, possibly hookah with roomie and her friend, go to Club NME once Courtface gets here, and not get so drunk that I can't wake up for class on Friday morning. I hate that this always feels like the end of the week, yet it never is.

it smells like garlic bread...not really sure why

I'm finally ready to start posting in here again. I guess there was really no reason for me to stop in the first place, but it just felt like i needed a break in lieu of ....things. So here I am again, friends.

I've been feeling sick all day, which started out actually last night when i a really bad headache started and the Advil i took never kicked in... then I woke up early today to do all my Spanish homework and ended up sleeping the rest of the day in because i felt so awful. I should probably be laying down again instead of sitting here in front of the computer. Oh well, c'est la vie.

Maybe it's from stress, seeing as this weekend was legit the ultimate FAIL of life. I didn't go to Club NME on Thursday night as i'd promised Samantha and Sarah since my stupid video project wasn't transferring to the tape all 50 times I tried. Then on Friday night I planned to hit up Stolen Transmission with a group of friends, but we ended up getting split up because of taxis and then some of them were carded and couldn't get in. It was a pretty quiet night anyway, so some of them wanted to go to a party at a dorm (which ended up being cancelled). We left around 2ish and went to Yaffa Cafe on St. Marks. LOVE. Saturday was just the ultimate trainwreck of a night that I'm not going to bother talking about, but i will say I ate some pretty good sushi that night.

The past two days caused me a lot more stress than was necessary. The second phase of applying for housing started yesterday, and a friend I was supposed to live with has just been a heinous bitch about the entire thing. I'm not going to get into technicalities because it's confusing as is, but I basically decided that I'm not going to live in the same suite as her next year. I've noticed recently that she's kind of subtly mean and catty towards me, and that makes me really sad. She has also blamed me in situations where I shouldn't have been singled out, or blame shouldn't have been appointed at all. I've never considered myself a pushover, but maybe I am in this case. It's probably because we spend so much time together, which I decided last night needs to stop right now. She just makes me so sad and aggravates me so, and I don't think it's fair for a friend to do that to another friend constantly.

Everyone else has been surprisingly awesome about the situation, though. I'm very relieved now that I chose to live with my roomie/suitemate again next year. Our only problems have been cleanliness thus far, but I think next year we'll be able to work out a cleaning schedule... plus, the dorm we want has dishwashers. HUZZAH. And this weekend should be considerably more awesome-filled since Court is coming on Thursday and Friday! Cross my heart and hope to die I'm going to NME...and Stolen Transmission, of course.

Other things new with life i guess:
- I started writing a song. I've got the intro/bridge but the rest still needs to work itself out.
- I'm half a season away from having seen all Arrested Development episodes. Kind of depressing!
- On the subject of TV, I've been suckered into The Office. What I'd give to date Jim Halpert....
- I'm truly horrible at getting over people, in both a romantic and non-romantic way.
- I've lost over 5lbs on my new diet! Suhweeeetness.