JESUS CHRIST. is a friend of mine.

Willa sent me this video earlier and I can't get it out of my head for the life of me.

Or, if you're into remixes that are reminiscent of subliminal messaging acid trips, you can watch this version instead:

"You didn't look free to me."

I am, at last, done with my third semester of school.  It took a lot of effort to get through the last week and not have a nervous breakdown, but I did it.  And I even aced my finals!  Holy hallelujah.  I would've been pissed off had I not done more than okay since I studied my ass off for that shit.

But since I've been home, I've been running to appointments all over the place.  New internist, blood work, heart tests, therapy, psychiatrist.  It's very discombobulating.  All my tests are coming back negative, though, so there's at least that.  My obsessive thoughts, in turn, are dipping.  I feel like I'm getting better, I want to be getting better...

The weather has been shit the past few days.  It's really pretty and if I were my younger self, there would be no amount of hesitation in pulling on my snowpants and boots and going outside to run around in it.  The fact of the matter is I love how the snow looks, and I love that it has been snowing so much around this festive time of year.  It's just such an inconvenience!  I'm starting to develop cabin fever, I swear.  I was going to brave the roads last night but my car was skidding and I didn't want to take any chances, so I just went out to dinner with my parents instead.  We got really delicious filet mignon.  That, I cannot complain about.

The other night I saw Milk and it was fucking incredible.  I can't wait to write a review about it, but I am also terrified I won't do it enough justice.  It's just captivating and heartbreaking and makes you so proud that there were individuals like him who cared enough about change to fight for it and see it through.  It also brings about a sense of disappointment because it sheds a light on the ignorance that existed in our country and still does.  Prop 8 much?  I know why people have been speculating as to whether or not this movie coming out sooner would have had an impact on the passing of Prop 8 in California now.  Though the answer to that is uncertain, I know had Harvey Milk been alive in this day and age, he would have fought his best to make a difference.  Hell, maybe Prop 8 wouldn't even be a problem if he were alive.  Sean Penn's portrayal was flawless, and the rest of the cast was amazing as well.

And yes, there is a naked backside shot of James Franco.  As if you needed any other initiative to see the movie.

Music that I am really into lately:  The Boy Least Likely To, Bishop Allen, Voxtrot, Tokyo Police Club, and of course Radiohead.  I've been trying to expand my boundaries, if you will.  Taking a lot of suggestions off of Last.fm and being unafraid to travel to the land of MySpace to sample songs.

My wisdom tooth on my bottom left side is hurting again.  Boo.

Hubba, hubba Holmes.

The first two production stills of 'Sherlock Holmes' have been released, and I all I have to say is...

YES, PLEASE.

Higher quality of this & other picture found at source.

More later, when I need further procrastination from studying.

Maybe next he should have a DJ gig at the Annex.

I really want to party with Bill Murray.  Leave it to Page Six to come up with that gem, but honestly?  If what Bill Murray wants to do with his life is hop from dive bar to dive bar befriending trust fund hipsters, then I think he should damn well be allowed to.  His offerings to the world have been many and grand with his acting talents (personally, his Wes Anderson films are my favorites).  So let him hang around town!  He went through a rough divorce and this is his way of coping.  Shit, this makes me wish I spent more time drinking this past semester to boost my chances of running into him.

A depiction of how fun the scenario could have been.

Reading this article today was a funny coincidence, too.  Just two days ago, some friends and I were discussing Bill Murray and the urban legend about him being insane and insanely awesome at the same time that is mentioned at the end of the article.  Copied and pasted, for your delight:

There's an urban legend that's gone round until no one is sure who it happened to, or if it happened at all. It was late one night, a few years ago, when a young man was walking through Union Square Park. He suddenly felt someone behind him, their hands over his eyes. When he turned in surprise, there was Bill Murray, his creased face leaning in close. Bill whispered, "No one is ever going to believe you," and then just walked away.

Go me!!

...for being the world's best blogger.  NOT.

Happy Thanksgiving?  I guess it's technically a Happy Black Friday is owed now since it's past midnight, and it will be a black Friday indeed.  A good friend's grandpa passed away a couple of days ago and all of us are going to his funeral to be there for her.  It's unfortunate that it had to happen, especially around this family-oriented time of year.  And she and her family are the sweetest people, so it will be really difficult to see them visibly suffering through this hard time tomorrow.  My greatest sympathies go out to them right now.

It just goes to show what a fatty I am at heart since Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday.  Well, maybe second to Christmas.  But it's always just been this warm, happy time for me where I get to eat all my favorite foods and spend time with my family.  There was some drama this Thanksgiving, but overall I'd say it was decent.  I watched Baby Mama with the sister and Charlie Bartlett by myself (which, BTW, was all kinds of fucking amazing).

I also went to the 24 hour Dunkin Donuts which is kind of the local hang for my friends and I when there is nowhere else to go.  Around 10:30 or so, the shift changes and these new guys come in for the graveyard and it just sucks since they so plainly hate their job.  And, usually, they fuck up my order detrimentally.  I've gotten the wrong flavored coffees, dark when I asked for light, and it's ALWAYS the same guys.  Hence, they've been dubbed as the "Asshole Shift".  If there is one thing I dearly miss about Long Island when I am in the city, it is my Asshole Shift at the Dunkin right by my house.

A lot has been going on in my personal life, a lot more than I am willing to divulge in a personal blog.  Maybe someday I will feel more comfortable using this as my pedestal, but until that time arrives, I have more private venues of doing so.  Let's just say I'm in a rut.  It's been really difficult trying to get out and to keep myself distracted but I'm getting there.  I have the incredible support system of my family and friends to help me through, and they have been there through thick and thin to talk to me about it.  Especially my mom.  She has been there from the get go and has held my hand with me every step of the way, unrelenting in how severely she cares.  Having people like that on your side makes dealing with these things so much easier, so for this Thanksgiving, I am thankful for them all.  But mostly my momma, who I can confidently say is my rock.

Writing has been going really well as of late.  I'd forgotten how much I love to do it.  Growing up, writing was always my zone of safety because people told me I was good at it and I felt confident that I could do it.  I still think I am decent at it, but I get frustrated with my own work a lot more.  Maybe it's because I am older and less ignorant as to what good writing is, or it might just be because I am overly critical of my own work.  It doesn't matter how many times I am told something sounds perfect the way it is because it will go in one ear and out the other.  And I'm not the kind of person to fish for compliments, either.  When I preface sending excerpts to a friend with something like, "Bear in mind this is a rough copy," or, "I really hate how this turned out, please rip me a new asshole with criticisms," it's because I really feel that way.  Through writing, I am learning to love my own writing.  The road has been kind of convoluted so far, but I have some lovely friends who have been giving me feedback non-stop and I thank them and bless them dearly for it.  Hopefully the first copy of the manuscript will be done before I head to London, and I will have the edited version by the end of my semester there.  That is my short-term goal from here.

The sad thing is, the thing that made me want to start writing again was reading Breaking Dawn (the last installment of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series) and realizing that all it takes is a piece of shit to really get published these days.  Let that be my outstanding inspiration, honestly, since it's giving me the minimum level of desire to keep on trucking needed.

Still have yet to sight any of the celeb locale (see: Tom&Katie&Baby Suri, who are literally my neighbors; James Franco, who is secretly attending NYU but only pretends to be attending Columbia on SNL; Daniel Radcliffe, whose signature is still desperately needed on my playbill).  I'll cry if it doesn't happen before I go abroad.  Speaking of which, I keep telling myself I will post in here more often and then never do.  REALLY MAKING A GOAL TO CHANGE THAT, ESP WHEN I'M IN LONDON.  That way, all you lurkers can see great pics of my visit and be jealous that I am surrounded by beautiful men with eloquent accents and can casually visit a pub for a pint of lager.  More excited about the men, though.

basically.

The past two weeks have been so damn stressful.  I hate midterm exams and papers more than I hate finals.  Since we're caught up in so much else going on at the same time, it makes me nervous that I don't put enough time and effort into studying, even though I am the kind of person who freaks out and spends hours for the few days before a test indulging myself in everything as much as possible.

Plus I'm  a horrible test taker, and it's only gotten drastically worse since I've been in college.  In high school, I feel like tests are pretty straightforward and teachers tell you specifically what information they want regurgitated back to them.  There are no study guides or extra help review sessions in college, and my anxiety reaches levels where I am physically shaking and want to throw up before I have to go and sit down to take a test.  Maybe it's the increased pressure because tests count for so much more here, but I don't know.  It's just really not a good thing and I have absolutely no idea what to do about it.

BUT HAPPY THINGS!!

• I've been preparing for studying abroad next semester.  I got my passport in the mail on Thursday and I'm currently in the process of applying for a student visa.  Oh, and I submitted my application for an internal transfer into the Communications program in Steinhardt.

• I started writing my first novel!!  I've been advised by people close to me not to publicly give out too much detail, but I will say it's about a grad student/professor love affair.  It's a little frustrating because it's happening so slowly, but I'm so excited about it and so is everyone else.

• My friends and I finally decided what we're dressing up as (Pokemon characters...) / what we're doing on Halloween.... and I'm going to my first ever rave.  It's in Brooklyn (errr...) but hey, shit looks sweet.

Last night, the roomies, best friend, and best friend's suitemate went to dinner at this little Middle Eastern restaurant called Zerza in the East Village.  The only downside was that when we left, it was torrentially pouring, so we were all cold and wet when we got to the restaurant.  But it was such a blast!  The food and drinks were all delicious, and they had this chocolate soufflé covered in ice cream for dessert.  OM NOM NOM.   But the best part was that they had a bellydancer come afterward and we decided to stay to watch her dance.  And, inevitably, get dragged into doing it ourselves.  Enjoy the following embarrassment:

In next blog post, ridic pictures of me dressed as Jessie of Team Rocket to be expected.

Long time no see? Speak? Read?

I'd rate today ace overall I guess, though I didn't do much... I had a Social Psych exam this morning which I studied majorly for the past few days, like literally hours on end, but still think I bombed.  Came home, decided not to go to class for the rest of the day because I was so tired / frustrated.  I emailed my teachers telling them it was for religious observance while eating a bagel.... I'm going to HELL.  But I did end up beating Resident Evil 4 instead.

Met up for a late lunch at Saint's Alp Teahouse with some friends and ran to Sunrise Mart to stock up on some pocky and green tea icicles.  We sat in Cooper Square for a while and the weather was pretty perfect.  The rest of the night included watching a lot of TV, eating dinner after 11pm (which I guess I deserved after the whole lying about fasting thing earlier), and ordering Insomnia Cookies.  Now I am hella tired and looking forward to sleeping in / interning tomorrow before going home for a few days and seeing my family and friends.

In other sweet news... I am studying abroad in London next semester!  A bunch of my friends / everyone in my suite is going and I am just really looking forward to it.  I've been obsessed with England and the idea of being British since I am a little girl, and not only am I visiting but i am GOING TO SCHOOL THERE.  For four months.  How on EARTH did his happen?!  So much to do and so little time... I'm applying for a passport when I'm at home this weekend, and then a Student Visa shortly after that.

That is all for now, bloggidy bitches.  I promise I will update this more frequently again..... maybe.

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Wow, it has actually been over a month since I made my last post in here.  I cannot believe that, man.  Fucking balls!  Hi to anyone who actually still reads this, secretly or non-secretly.  That's right, I has the all-knowing eyyyyeeee...

So I am back at NYU and loving it.  I'm finally taking a shitload of classes that I actually want to be in this semester, thus making my work actually... kind of bearable?  It's still a lot of reading and writing, mind you, but I don't mind as much when it's about communication or poetry as opposed to, for instance, The Wealth of Nations.  My only complaint is that I basically go all day today from 9:30am -5:20pm, with an hour break.  And my classes are on every corner of the campus, so I'm basically running back and forth with barely any time to take a breather.  At least I get a break during my Printmaking class, during which time it is vital to get coffee and a delicious green tea cream puff from the Japanese bakery on Stuyvesant.

Some highlights of the past few weeks to mention:

• SEEING EQUUS.  Sorry, it has to be first.  My aunt bought tickets for me and a friend and they were right over the stage, watching everything happen closer than anyone else... and seeing Daniel Radcliffe's dick closer than anyone else.  Albeit it's small, it's still a pretty nice dick.  The storyline itself was heartbreaking and I just loved everything about the play, definitely want to see it again.  MUST go back to get my playbill signed!!

• LISA LAMPANELLI: Was the same night as Equus was, and she was sooo fucking hilarious in every single way.  I envy her ability to say whatever the hell she wants while getting away with it.  It was at Radio City Music Hall and was my first time there since I'm a little girl and saw the Christmas Spectacular or whatever... the inside is fucking gorgeous.  We got drinks that came with glowing stirrers.  Oh my A.D.D., how did they know?

• CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS:  Ok, so I've only really seen Christian Siriano at the last night of Stolen Transmission at Hanger Bar, but David saw James Franco at Starbucks and took a pic on his Blackberry to send me (two days later, J.F. recognized him outside of the Tisch building and nodded his way.  Jealous doesn't even cover half of it)

• SPACED:  So Spaced was a TV show that aired from 1999-2001 in the UK and was the first really big collaborative project between Simon Pegg, Jessica Hynes and Edgar Wright.  I'd seen some clips online (as is necessary being a Simon Pegg/Edgar Wright fanatic) and have always wanted to watch it, but unfortunately DVDs were only available in the UK.  That is, until this summer!  They put the entire series together plus a bunch of awesome bonus features and extra reels and commentaries on DVD for Region 1 (U.S. and Canada) this past July, and I finally purchased it upon arriving to school.  CAN YOU SAY UH-MAYYY-ZING (in a Danny Butterman voice, of course).  It's captured my heart, really and truly.  Just....gah.  MINDBLOWING.

• SILENT HILL:  At the risk of this post getting any geekier, this will be my last media-related bullet point.  Silent Hill is by far the creepiest game I've ever seen anyone play.  We've all been watching our friend Chloe play as a source of amusement, and a source of shock for some of us.. it's mindboggling and terrifying.  Horrible, destructive alternate reality.  I couldn't explain if I tried.

And now I must run off to my Intro to Human Communication and Culture class... and possibly come back and edit this later.  I'll probably write another separate blog entirely later since I'm leaving so much out....... BAAAAAAAAAH

OY VEY. HALLO.

I've attempted three times at LEAST to post in here since my last post in July, and none of them ever reached completion for some reason; may it be my severe lack of attention or just general absentmindedness, I am the ULTIMATE BLOGGING FAIL.  This will end up being a long post in a pitiful attempt of me summarizing the past few weeks and to talk about the upcoming ones, so bear with me while I try to bear with myself.

The summer has basically dwindled down to its last week for me, and I'm... kind of relieved, to be honest.  Most students wish that their vacation extends a few more weeks when they reach this point, but I am starting to get stir crazy doing the same shit over and over when I know the city is only so far away.  Something about this summer just seemed less exotic than last year... or, simply explained, we aren't going to be freshmen this year so there was a lack of that excitement over college looming a few short months away.  Really, that kept my friends and I on our toes and pushed us to go out and try to do more with each other, to beg us to make attempts to keep in contact with every last person who showed interest.  By now, we all know who the "thick and thin" friends are and don't even bother chasing the other ones down for plans, much less a lunch together one afternoon or a brief get-together at someone's house.

And speaking of friends, I really miss my ones from college.  I love them all but I honestly did not think I was so attached to them, but the past year has really allowed me to form some close bonds with people.  Making friends with people right off the bat and staying friends with them throughout the rest of your college experience is something I find to be quite rare, but I kept a truly tight-knit group my first year (amongst other friends and acquaintances, that is) and they're like my extended family at my home not-so-far-away from home.  And they're a fucking riot.

That isn't to say I don't love my friends from home, though.  There has been a noticeable shift from who I hung out with last year to who I hung out with this year.  Truth be told, they're lots of my good friends from high school but also a lot of new people I met through these people.  I hate when you meet someone such and such years after the fact and you can't help but think about all the wasted time you could've spent being really good friends.  Whatever, make do with what you have and try not to waste moving forward into the future?  Good thing a lot of my friends are close to home, otherwise I'd be really REALLY depressed going back to school.  And, two more (my best friend Willa and a newer friend David) are coming back with me to NYU!  Make new friends, keep the old.... but they're all golden to me.

I also had a lot of fun babysitting my baby twin cousins this summer, and it really pains me to go back to school knowing I won't be seeing them every other day.  I'm actually startin to get tears in my eyes just thinking about it... they bring such joy to my days with simply existing and not having that constant is going to be so weird.  Even since May, they've both grown so much (both were crawling at the beginning of the summer, and now they're running like champs!).  My aunts really didn't need me in addition to Keyri, who is a family friend and who also babysat, but they let me come anyway and basically gave me a job for summer.  We did some really fun things too, whether it was just playing in their backyard or going to the park, or a full-day journey going to camp with them or the Long Island Children's Museum.  Jordan and Spencer are such amazing kids, I really feel like my entire family is so blessed to have them be these newish parts of our lives.  And I really truly hope I can always be there for them.  Keyri was also such a sweetheart and I really enjoyed babysitting with her.  We got very close over the summer, shared lots of stories and had good laughs and I hope we keep in touch, even hang out a few times.  I truly consider her a friend.

So as a thank you gift for babysitting the twins all summer, my aunts bought me tickets to see Daniel Radcliffe in Equus on Broadway next month. And the tickets are ON THE STAGE. I started crying uncontrollably when I found out, not only cause I've been a fan of his since I'm in middle school (not to mention was set on marrying him at the mere age of eleven), but it's probably one of the best gifts I've ever received. Truly from the heart, and I know a lot of thought went into it. They honestly didn't even need to get me anything because they've been paying me each week, but they went and did that for me and I'm just like.... beyond grateful. I don't know. It's going to be surreal, to say the least.

On a similar train of thought: Can I believe they are pushing back the release date of Half-Blood Prince to July 2009?  Well, yes... I can believe it because Warner Bros. are money hungry and cannot possibly deal with the fact that DanRad would be asked questions about being naked on stage while doing press circuits for the latest installment.  But it still pisses me off.  Boo, Warner Bros.

Okay, I think I've satisfyingly put a good amount of mush as well as regular day bullcrap in here to satiate the emptiness of posting from the past few weeks, but there will probably be tons more in here soon!  I'm moving into my new dorm in exactly a week.... and then the shenanigans begin.  But srsly, they do.

HOW ABOUT A MAGIC TRICK??

I just got back from seeing The Dark Knight for the second time - and for free since my friend Eddie is an assistant manager there and gets passes. It was just as good, if not better being able to quote everything The Joker says, minus not having the surprise with the twists. My guess is I should've seen Step Brothers like we originally planned, since I'm seeing TDK twice again in the next week (and once in IMAX, finally) but whatevs. It's like crack, visual eye crack... and I love me some Joker. I'm convinced, I'm converted, I'm one of the sheep. But I don't care, cause he puts a smiiiiile on my face.

But what I am REALLY updating this late about is what happened when I was in the bathroom... I went to pee and noticed through the crack in the stall door that someone was peeking in and looking at me! At first I couldn't tell if they were checking that someone was in there, but they kept looking...and we made eye contact. It was really awkward. She goes into the stall that opens up next to me, and then we're done relatively around the same time and I go to wash my hands. And it turns out that it was this girl Tracy who was in my grade at school, this really bitchy JAP who has had plastic surgery done all over her face (and not just a nosejob like is typical in Jericho LOLZ). BUT WHAT THE FUCK?!!! THAT WAS SO CREEPY. I've never had that happen to me before. And what better to do than to blog about it?

Oh and a drunk man, who was possibly homeless, told my friends and I we were the four most beautiful girls he'd ever seen before asking us where we thought he should get drunk. When he didn't like our suggestion, he huffed and walked away. Not without shouting, "Goodbye, beautiful girls!!!" as he went into the distance.

I think I am going to New Jersey tomorrow with Willa since her awesome cousin Abbey is having a house party. Cool. Here is a video that I cannot stop watching. I AM 110% JOKERIZED.

I had so much fun in North Carolina last week with my fam. I've never really had the experience of being in the south, so it was definitely strangely new to hear people talk with such drawl and to have grits as a regular menu item at most restaurants. Everyone down there is super nice, though! The house we stayed in was legit right on the beach, very convenient, but it got SUPER cramped once everyone arrived. We were supposed to come in shifts but it just worked out that everyone came at once, and it was sooo hectic with everyone there.... still, I managed to have a LITTLE time to myself stowing away to my grandma's room to read Eclipse and Moose: A Memoir of Fat Camp in peace.

However, there was some major stress caused while on my vaca by a stupid fuck-up in regards to the housing situation this year. Most people who are close to me know that dealing with housing in every aspect (i.e. who I was going to room with, where we were living) was a real struggle this past year and was annoying as hell to deal with. Therefore, I was super upset when some girl messaged me on Facebook saying she was going to be my roommate, when my friend Wendy was supposed to have switched into my room. I'm not going to explain the entire situation, but basically two of my friends were exchanging bedspaces so Wendy could live with me, but since my other friend Tina put down Water Street, the "bed-to-bed" never went through and it was just put in as a Room Switch. But after yelling at the housing office over the phone and finally getting in contact with Wendy via Facebook (she's in France), we worked out the situation and she is living in our suite now! But these complications only make me hate NYU housing even more and want to move into my own apartment with friends during junior year.

Although I didn't get to see The Dark Knight at midnight, believe me when I say I wanted to and have been looking forward to this movie for MONTHS. When I realized I'd scheduled to go on vacation and be away the day it comes out, I texted my aunts seeing if I could get an earlier flight home so I'd be able to go Thursday night.... no joke. But I finally saw it on Monday evening and it was so fucking awesome. I'm not even going to front, I fucking hate Christian Bale ever since seeing him play that annoying twat Arthur Stuart in Velvet Goldmine (which BTW, if you're into the glam rock era/ Britain in the 70s, you should totally see...and not the shitty censored version). I hate the Batman voice he does even more. And I'm not a huge fan of superhero movies, though I've seen all of the original Batman ones and Iron Man has me crying over how wonderful it is. The real pull for me was to see Heath Ledger play The Joker, and his performance sent shivers down my spine the entire time. Such a fucking contrast to every other role he's played, and he did it so flawlessly. The Joker was even kinda sexy, in a sociopathic scar-faced way (especially in a nurse's outfit IMO). I'm really lame and also teared up at the end when they dedicated the movie to him, cause sometimes it hasn't even sunken in that he's not.... here anymore. It frustrates me, and with a heavy heart, after seeing this film for what I'm sure is the first of many times and watching him literally KILL on screen, and that's it. No more.

Next big event of the summer I suppose is the new Twilight book, Breaking Dawn, coming out next Friday (and the last from Bella's perspective, thank god). I went with Willa last night to preorder our copy and it's probably going to be as ridiculous, but not as much as Harry Potter midnight release parties. At least we only have to be there at 10am to get our bracelets. If you haven't read these books, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??? Apparently there is going to be a tshirt making contest and I'm severely considering.....since there is no way I'm dressing up as a vamp LOLZZZ

OK I am going to go and sing Katy Perry while dancing ridiculously in my room while I wait for Nikki to get off work so we can eat dindin and watch Entourage.... my queens boys are back in Sept. HOLLA!

OK wow, I am not entirely sure how I haven't written anything since the middle of June but apparently that is the case?? Hello blog world, I have not died.

My aunts invited me to go with them to North Carolina for a week starting on Saturday and I'm totally stoked. My grandma is going to be going, plus some of Karen2's family that I've already met, plus their other babysitter Keyri who I would now consider a friend. We're going to be staying in Wilmington/Surf City in this beach house, which is right on the beach! It's going to be excellent, I hope I come back at least a shade or two darker. I'm also hoping I finally finish Eclipse, the third book in Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series. I have a serious crush on Edward Cullen.

I am tired and the rest of the entry that was going to be here is not, so goodnight instead.

I hate wishy-washies.

HOLY CRAP. I am finding it hard to believe that they can finally render an image that looks like Dan Radcliffe for the new Harry Potter videogame, which will come out coinciding with the release of the Half Blood Prince film this November. They've got his terrible bushy eyebrows like....dead on. Fuck, I still need to get my tickets to see Equus for multiple nights so I can finally eye his dick. His "Firebolt", if you will. His wand.. his golden snitch. I could go all day, really.

My house is currently lacking any A/C, or whatever is left of it is barely pushing it. This sucks, as I'd like to go to sleep soon and I love being super cold when I'm falling asleep... oh, and I've also apparently got tendinitis in my left heel. Achilles tendinitis? I don't fucking know, that's what my doctor thinks and I'm going to take his word for it. It hurts when I put a lot of pressure on it trying to walk, and I'm taking Aleve which isn't getting rid of the pain entirely, but making it a lot easier to walk.

It's one thing after another with me lately. Seriously. I was supposed to have a pool party this past weekend, but I got food poisoning / a stomach virus and basically spent the majority of the weekend too sick to function. I've never thrown up like that in my LIFE. So instead, we are having the pool party on Saturday. They were predicting thunderstorms but now the day is looking mostly sunny and around 80 degrees. Loves it!! 19 People still need to RSVP though or imma cut a bitch...

Let me complain for a second. I am admittedly a sucker for Facebook - it makes keeping connected to people epically wonderful (especially people that you would otherwise very easily lose contact with if given other circumstance). It is also a massive time kill with the thousands of applications. There are times when I get carried away with Bumper Stickers or playing World Challenge and trying to beat my friends scores. I also like making Events on Facebook, since it's a lot easier than wasting time playing phone tag via text messages or actual calls trying to see who is going to show up. But one feature I cannot stand?

WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THEY'RE MAYBE COMING. This could mean they either have a really busy schedule and truly don't know, or they're just waiting to see if something better pans out. Or if they're truly spineless, they're waiting to see how many people they enjoy the company of are going to show. I still can't not take it personally, since it's particularly personal. One of my more recent friends, a guy named David who is a year younger and just decided he is going to NYU, told me he has two grad parties that day but still wants to stop by and say hello. And we literally JUST started hanging out. When someone you've just met is that genuine versus people you've known a long time and are trying to get in touch with...

I'm bitter, I guess, or just really lucky to have found someone so sweet to befriend. Ugh. My other guy friends are kind of douchebags as of late, which really really sucks. Minus a couple who are like my saving grace, and one who I may or may not still have a thing for and is currently far away trying to get laid by a Costa Rican tranny. It's all good though. I'm slowly beginning to find out who is really worth my time, and who I just need to permanently weed out (or make bare minimum time for). Ah, growing up.

WTF GABBA GABBA?

I am in tears... today while I was babysitting my cousins, my aunts put on this show they taped (is that even the right way to say it now? it's like DVR'd or tiVo'd or whatever) called Yo Gabba Gabba. It's like the most batshit insane thing i've ever watched in my life. Basically the show is like one major acid trip with cute little monsters with all this techno music and weird interludes with kids dancing in front of green screen. It's also hosted by an anorexic black dude with giant black-rimmed hipster glasses and an orange jumpsuit. I asked my friend Molly what she thought and we decided it was basically telling kids to start shrooms at an early age.

Have a glimpse for yourself:


This guy teaches the kids "beats"....it's actually quite terrifying, but in a darling way, when he says "bye bye!":


Then there's this little gem of Elijah Wood on the show that i found while surfing YouTube...speechless doesn't really cover it:

GRANDMA KNOW HOW TO MOVE

here is my grandma dancing to chris brown's "forever". she just started jamming and me being the lovely granddaughter i am, i had film it...

SIX FLAGS AND SARAH MARSHALL

So my courageous little soul decided to brave the drive through Brooklyn, Staten Island, AND New Jersey to get to Six Flags on Saturday with my besties from high school. Despite almost dying about 50 times on the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway, I'd say it was well worth the trip! But that might be me being biased, because amusement parks are one of my most favorite things in the world. It's right up there with shopping for clothes, playing with babies, and enjoying wine and cheese simultaneously. The sucky thing is that when my parents were able to take my sister and I to places like Disney and Universal Studios, I wasn't really old enough to appreciate rollercoasters, but now I fucking LOVE them.

And in all my 19 years on this earth, it was my first time going to Six Flags and let me tell you, it's entirely a damn shame. We went on Superman, Kingda Ka, Medusa, Batman, The Dark Knight, and Nitro three times. And the ride waits weren't even that long. I must also say I spent way too much money on disgusting junk food (and you know how overprice that stuff is!). When we stopped off at a pit stop for dinner on the ride home, I found out the reason my lips were hurting so bad was because they got sunburnt and were glowing cherry red. I woke up at 6:50am and went to sleep at 12am, so it was a tiring day to say the least. But the most exciting part was almost getting killed by a cellphone that flew off the Superman ride and smashed into pieces only three feet from where I was standing in the parking lot. It was pretty fucking epic, especially since I'm actually alive and able to retell the story.

However, my one qualm and I MUST complain about this, is how much the new ride for The Dark Knight SUCKED!!! Not only do I not comprehend how they could take down The Chiller for this piece of shit, but they advertise it as a rollercoaster IN THE PAMPHLET. The most it does is go up and down a little but it's mostly a bunch of sharp turns and some neon writing on the walls. That's IT. And you want to know what the most upsetting part is? We waited on line for an hour and a half for that fucking piece of shit. That's an hour and a half of my life I'll never get back, much less time I could've spent going on rides I'd actually ENJOY...

Today was Memorial Day, so the fam was off from work and my mom decided last minute she wanted to have a BBQ. It was going to be small with just my parents and grandma, but I ended up inviting some friends and so did my sister. Then, we found out my aunts were coming home from Pennsylvania today with the baby twins so they came too. Turned into a huge event!! We spent the day hanging out by the pool, I got some nice color to start off with...and afterward was some delicious hot dogs and hamburgers and hanging out with my cutieface babies. Went to the movies after figuring out Willa didn't have 8am class tomorrow, and I FINALLY fucking saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall. It was SO fucking hilarious, I love that entire group of actors. I will say two movies I absolutely cannot wait to see this summer are Wanted and Pineapple Express. Gotta save up some mega money for rising ticket prices, boo hoo...

I have also been clearing out my PC computer and transferring music to my Macbook, and I found this video that I'd downloaded and have been looking for on Youtube FOREVER... and I finally found the name and looked it up. It's....racy. Umm, you'll see.

HOME SWEET HOME

On Saturday morning, i finally moved out of my dorm and back to Long Island for the summer! Everyone asks me if I like(d) living in the city this past year, and my response is always the same... it's one of the most excellent experiences in the world, but we all need a break once in a while! And I seriously missed driving around aimlessly, drinking iced coffees from the local deli and spending time with my high school friends.

Therefore, I'm looking forward greatly to this huge period of rest, relaxation, and time with friends. Also of working my ass off to make money but we can overlook that part for now...

After I came home, my fam and I went to my aunts' house for my baby cousinfaces' first birthday party! I can't believe they're already a year old (it was their actual birthday today). So unreal. For the longest time I didn't have any cousins, and I'm so glad I'm at an age where I can help take care of them when they need it. The party was Elmo themed and included a guest appearance by Elmo himself. Or a creeper dude dressed up as him, anyway. But I digress... Everything was great, the weather, the food, the people... minus the awkward confrontations with family I haven't seen in a long time and friends of the family. Something I've always despised is really awkward small talk, and usually i have the ability to make people smile by saying silly stuff, but it's so hard to do that when they're awkwardly hugging you or asking about college even though they don't really care. A friend of my aunt's actually came up to me and we had a really great convo for 5 minutes and then she admitted she didn't remember my name.

And some random friend of my aunt's that I've actually never met before was mean to me right to my face. We were talking about college and I said something in response to a comment she made about my possible majors (Psych and Marketing/Advertisement) being unrelated but also related... i dunno. And she goes, "You know you're not as funny/smart as you think you are... excuse me, I have some friends to go say hello to." And fucking walks away!! WTF. I guess she didn't read the handbook on automatically being a pathetic human being by taking cheap shots at a girl 20 years her junior...

ANYWAY I think thats enough shit for now, not that i have anything else to do besides unpack and I think it's pretty obvious how much I'm looking forward to doing that... but my concluding thought for today? I watched Gossip Girl tonight and I find Ed Westwick a lot more attractive than I thought I did. Shee-ZOW.

THE SHIT SHOW NEVER ENDS

The past two days have been a whirlwind, to say the least. Classes are over so I've spent them trying to balance some last minute good times with my friends and getting work done. Hence why I am updating at 4 in the morning... I'm convinced I work better in nocturnal mode. My Conversations of the West: Antiquity and the 19th Century (mouthful much?) final is tomorrow at 12pm and then I have the rest of the day to get my last batch of shit done. My past few video projects have had a lighter feel to them, touching on some surrealism and a bit of a cartoony feel but I'm going to be a little bitter and more serious in this one. So much to do, so little time....

It's seriously a little nerve-wrecking knowing I'm less than 48 hours away from finishing my freshman year of college.

Also had some interesting celeb sightings. Connor Paolo, who plays Eric Van der Woodsen (Serena's younger bro) on Gossip Girl, was hanging out in front of the dorm down the street (where I happen to be living next year). And today some dudes from a mainstream band I DEF don't listen to were in Virgin Megastore and I hopped over to take a look...also bought a copy of Empire Records for $10. What an awesome movie.

I went home this past weekend with my friend Alex and of course it was a crazy time. Pretty sure he got the full blown Long Island experience this time around, since it was a little short-lived last time we made the trip... it's seriously so fun having him home with me, as weird as it is mixing my high school and college worlds. There has been a lot of that this year, and while it isn't for everyone (or some people don't have the opportunity), maybe it is a blessing in disguise. They're all in my life constantly and I'm the kind of person who likes having the security of old friendships while stepping into the waters of new ones. Blegh blegh I'm turning too metaphorical for this shit show of a late hour blog post...

We (as in my roomie, suitemate and I) just had a major cleaning sesh in the living room. The walls are so barren, it's such an alien feeling after getting so used to having ourselves and our personalities plastered all over the walls through drawings and posters and photographs of ourselves. The aesthetic of the room sort of failed since we're all unfortunately lazy bums, but hopefully next year we spruce things up a little more. I'd like a cute lamp or some throw pillows to say the least.

Facebook is telling me my account is unavailable, and when my major method of procrastination isn't there for my abuse, I think it means it's time for a shower and some sleep. But I will just end off on the note that I met a man tonight who tried to sell me a lighter watch and kept saying "Sexy time" like Borat. I'm going to miss these city weird fucks.

AND UGLY BETTY IS BACK TONIGHT!! YESSS.

About to head out to go grocery shopping, instead of going to Spanish class since I was super sick last night and didn't have time to complete my homework. Hopefully this is the last time I will need to buy groceries before going home to Long Island for the summer. I actually really enjoy grocery shopping, for some reason it's relaxing to me walking around and throwing food in a wagon. Or maybe that just makes me a fatass. I simply detest carrying heavy bags of food across the street all by myself, though, and that DEFINITELY makes me a fatass...

Last weekend I went home with the roomie to Long Island for her first Passover experience. We had a lot of hanging out with my friends, going out to eat, making trips at the beach, driving around smoking Djarums. Passover itself was so much fun, she really enjoyed meeting my family and they enjoyed meeting her. Was ecstatic to see my baby cousins, they've grown up so much... they're going to be a year old next month and their mommies are throwing a Sesame Street birthday party for them. So fucking cute. Jordan was even adorable as i was sticking chopped-up gefilte fish in her mouth for dinner, and that stuff is gross.

I'm truly happy that the school year is finally winding down, now that I have SOME grasp on my academic schedule for next year. I'm either going to apply into the Studio Art program in Steinhardt, and if that falls through, maybe Communication and Media there. Otherwise I am sticking in CAS and I'll probably go for a major in Psychology or Journalism, as originally planned. Yay for semi-knowing what I want to do with life?

Of course I'm sad that I won't see my college friends for a long period of time, but it's only a few months and there may be some small trips to visit planned in between. And my good friend Andy is actually staying at NYU this summer so I'll definitely be seeing him a lot. Plus, I'm really REALLY excited to see all of my friends from home and spend the summer hanging out with them in between working for my dad and babysitting the twins. Making money, hanging with peeps, chilling by the pool and spending nights on the beach.. summer is basically going to be off the hook.

Tomorrow we're having an early cinco de Mayo party since unfortunately, the real holiday falls on a Monday and is right during finals. I'm a little upset that some people aren't going to be there but it should be a hilarious time regardless. We bought sombreros, fake mustaches, giant wall decorations, and a chili piñata. We have a fucking PIÑATA...you already know that shit's gonna be off the chain.

Anime....

So admittedly when I was younger I really liked watching certain anime shows... Sailor Moon, Tenchi Muyo!, Cardcaptor Sakura, and Pokemon were really my favorites. But as I got older I really outgrew them and sort of thought of them as something geekier kids like, which I still believe for the most part to be true. Like, the slightly overweight ugly girls with really horrible eyebrows wo go to conventions dressed up in outfits they've made themselves that are too sexy for them really to be wearing...I'm judgmental, deal with it.

But my suitemate Eunsan decided to write a paper she had for Media on Sailor Moon and it really makes me want to re-watch it. That was one of my favorite TV shows when I was little, truly to the point of obsession where I would sit on the computer with my 56k modem connection and just memorize the information on every single character on the show. I even made my own shitty little website that maybe my family and five or so friends ever got to see. And I had so many dolls... I think they're still stored in a box somewhere. They didn't dub the later seasons until I was a little older, and I don't think they dubbed the last season at all because of the storyline. For the record, dubbing is basically putting another language over the original, so in this case it was turning everything into English.

Anyway, I really want to rewatch it now!! And I don't care who knows it!! Maybe it's because I'm sentimental for that part of my childhood, but beyond the shitty graphics and generic anime corniness, the storyline is actually pretty decent. Ah fuck it, I would even rewatch Tenchi Muyo! Not as many people knew about that show here, but me and some friends from camp got really into it one summer. My favorite character was Ryoko, who was obviously the bitch with huge tits and an alcohol problem. Pokemon is a little too corny for me at this time, as someone entering her young adult life...

However, this is something that ISN'T inappropriate for adulthood... I found this earlier just surfing around YouTube. From what is apparently a banned episode of Pokemon, here is a disturbing video of James from Pokemon with boobs. I shit you not, he even fondles them himself:

Not in my backyard, utensils!

I am SO ready to go home. I mean, I love school and all but I am so tired of living in this nasty ass room! This morning the sink was completely filled with dishes, even though my roomies and I agreed to all wash our own things 24 hours after we used them - I've avoided this situation by not using dishes or silverware at all. But somehow ALL of my cups were used, even though I've been drinking out of plastic ones for a few weeks now...

To solve this problem, I told everyone I wasn't sharing my dishes anymore and began washing all of only MY stuff to dry and put away for when I'm going home. I'm hoping next year we can establish a cleaning system way earlier on, and having Wendy in the suite instead of Vanessa will change things.

Anyway, here are the videos from the dancing thing I went to yesterday in the park... hahaha I LOVE this guy. Not as much as I loved the Lovebirds or Do-Rag, though.

OF DRUMS, DRUGGIES, AND DALLAS BBQ

What a tiring day! I woke up after only 6 hours of sleep and went down to Washington Square Park to see this Korean drumming performance. I didn't even know we had a Korean drumming club here at NYU, but apparently we do and they are called Rhythmic Impulse... my friend Esther does it at Stony Brook so she has been to a couple of the NYU kids' practices. It was so much fun!! I even danced with them but unfortunately no one except these guys with professional cameras got pics, but you'll have to take my word for it.

Although during the performance, some sketch guy who was doped out on drugs of some sort tried to snatch my phone. I was looking for it and I guess I didn't realize I'd put it by where I was sitting, but this dude in a neon green tshirt sat down next to me. I didn't notice but this woman came over to me and said, "You should probably move, that guy just tried to grab your phone and he keeps inching towards you." WTF. We promptly moved to the other side of the performance, and he went over to a picnic table and sat there curled in the fetal position all throughout the rest of the show.

There was also this little festival / flea market type dealio down on west 4th so we checked that out too. I got a cute new houndstooth scarf for $10, and we both got chocolate covered strawberries mmm. There was so much other stuff I wanted to buy but I am running tres low on cash, especially after going out last night.

Then I went to Times Square and ate at Dallas BBQ with Clara. That place is kind of too fattening for words, but I guess if I go once a year then that's alright. We caught up a lot, which made me happy since I missed hanging out with her a lot. Times Square was a fucking trainwreck though, the nice weather is drawing everyone out of their houses like mosquitos. There were serious gridlocks of people, and I was very relieved to get on the subway and come back home.

So speaking of last night, it was my friend Alex's get together birthday thing at Proof. Proof is this bar/lounge on 3rd ave a few blocks up that is shutting down, and it was fucking PACKED last night. Kinda sketch, but whatever. Drinks were hella expensive too, and in my drunken mind I decided to pay for a round of Tequila Sunrises for me and 3 friends....whoops. Luckily I am going home next weekend and can obtain funding for the next three weeks left of school...and how I cannot WAIT for them to be over.

I'm just so exhausted, I wanted to go out and continue my day of fun but I may just sit at home for the next few hours and watch The Office before promptly passing out. I took two videos of this random guy who got up and started dancing in the middle of the drum performance, before they started pulling people into dance, and it's just too funny not to post once I upload them to youtube.

FUCK APPLE

In case anyone is wondering, i deleted my last post because we talked it out and everything is okay now. Look at me being all ambiguous and shit like it's my business.

I just got back from a friend's birthday dinner at Outback Steakhouse and I'm hungry again. UGH. We ended up paying $30 a piece since we were treating him and some people didn't buy dinner, but all I had was a salad and a soda..... maybe that's why I'm hungry now. Or it could be b/c roomieface just made some pasta...but yeah. I didn't even eat part of the 4 blooming onions we ordered since I was looking at calorie content online earlier and it hella grossed me out. Maybe I should've protested that everyone paid for their own, since some people ordered steaks and I got a little wimpy salad with shrimp. But whatever, not much I can do now.

Anyway, sooo much to talk about... this week has been such a hell trip, let me tell you. Housing was on Tuesday and so much drama went into picking where we were living, if we were all sticking together. And THEN I find out, after I've registered everyone on my lottery card, that another friend on our floor signed up to live in the same room as me without asking....even though I had a roommate picked out already!! It was really no one's fault but there was major chaos throughout our floor regarding the matter.

And after all the drama settled aside, my computer flipped out and my system data became corrupted.... so I had to go to the Apple store TWICE to get everything fixed. This included losing all of my data because the operating system couldn't be reinstalled with the amount of space I had left....

Needless to say, I've purchased an external hard drive and will be using it until its dying day.

I miss my music. And my videos. And or some reason, the guy at the Apple store missed installing Photo Booth so I am without it.... how do I get it?!!? I'm so tired of going all the way there and setting up appointments. Fuck.

Video project 3!

Here's my most recent project from Intro to Video Art class... it's to the tune of Vampire Weekend's "Campus" (well most of it, not the entire song).... but it was my first time using drawn stop motion and I'm very pleased with how it turned out!

VIVA LA BLOOD AND ICE CREAM TRILOGY!

Sorry I post so much about Simon Pegg/Edgar Wright/ my love of both men, but this just needs celebration...

Hot Fuzz duo confirm third movie

OMGOMGOMGOMG. THANK FUCKING GOD! That's right Edgar, save our bb Simon from the nasty romantic comedies.... although I will say I did watch the trailer for How To Lose Friends and Alienate People (which can be seen by clicking here) and it doesn't look completely awful, save for Kirsten Dunst and her ever-present snaggle teeth.

Oh, the cookie-cutter college system...

One of my biggest pet peeves about school is how seriously overloaded students are when they come back from a vacation. Honestly, I'm sure professors are still adjusting back from break mode, so why can't they make it easier for themselves and for us to just ease back into the routine of gauging our eyeballs our nightly over assigned reading and writing papers we don't give a shit about? It's silly how they bombard us with even MORE stuff than we'd normally be assigned to cover lost time. It's called a break for a reason. One of my teachers even thought it'd be funny to give us a midterm two days after returning from spring break. What a hoot, huh?! That's a whole ordeal I'd rather not get into, though.

Instead, I'd like to talk about one of my most recent concerns regarding this college life, and that's what exactly I am going to school for. I'm so jealous of people who have a determined head set on their shoulders, life's plans already written in the back of their mind and a clear-cut view of the future just beyond the mountaintops. You know who I'm talking about... the business students who are going to apply straight into firms post-grad, the pre-meds cramming their Bio and Chem credits in now so they can take those fall back career credits, JUST IN CASE... I have a friend who applied into a six-year pharmacy program at St. Johns, and she's going to be able to walk into any drugstore and start selling prescription meds the minute she graduates. WHY COULDN'T I HAVE BEEN GIVEN THAT KIND OF INNER GUIDANCE?

My college orientation leaders gave my group great advice over the summer, and that was to fulfill all of our MAP requisites (or basic degree reqs, for non-NYU folk) as soon as possible. Great, so now I've gotten all of my CAS degree requirements out of the way... and I still don't know what major I want to declare. Hey, I'm fucked three ways from Sunday! I'm debating either transferring into other schools to do (a) a Studio Art major, or (b) an individualized course of study to pursue a major that's involved with graphic/media art, like digital design and photography and video editing. But part of me worries about how much I'll really love this, if I'll get bored. Maybe I should go into advertisement? Or public relations... I don't really know. UGH FUCK MY LIFE. There is so much I would potentially want to get into, and I wish there was one way to mesh it all together to make my heart and mind happy at the same time. I guess a little more experimentation in the kitchen is necessary since I haven't figured out my own recipe to happiness.

But less bleakly... party this weekend is going to be intensely off the chain. Won't give out much details before the fact, but if I go down for this one.... I'll be going down proudly. A captain with her ship! Time to call it a night. Au revoir, mes cheries.

Nose.

Packing my things to head back to the city tonight would probably be a lot more useful than writing in my newly re-named blog right now, but whatevs. ASK ME IF I CARE. The truth is that i just really despise packing and wait until the last minute whenever i have to do it. This usually involves stuffing all my things very non-neatly into suitcases and duffel bags.

The other truth is that i have absolutely no idea what my blog name is supposed to mean. It sounded cool in my head, at least.

Overall, I wouldn't say my spring break was that great... actually, it was pretty mundane. But I got to see a lot of friends that i missed really badly and that has to count for something. I also bought a shitload of new clothes and other things i needed, like some cute new underwear, socks, leggings, jackets. Time to gather all of my old goods and put them in bags to give away. I've never actually thrown out clothing, and i can't imagine what it's like. Except I'm not going to have anywhere at school to put all my old shit once i decide what i do and don't want anymore. I guess i'm going to have to wait until I come home at the end of the semester... BOO CLUTTER. I legit despise not having more space in my dorm room!

Tonight is Coco and Lisa's birthday celebration thing at Stolen Transmission. It is apparently also going to be the afterparty for the Tilly and the Wall show tonight. I'm assuming it is going to be some level of ridiculous, if not by my own guess then by the following image made by their friend Derek:



Oh and I bought tickets today to go see Lisa Lampanelli in September at Radio City Music Hall. She's so hysterical, i'm genuinely excited to go see her! It's also my first time going to a comedy show, so that should be interesting to say the least.

Time to pack, and by pack I mean inadequately shove all of my belongings into tight spaces they don't fit into. Til next time, my faithful friends!!

SO STOKED!!

Edgar Wright is going to be directing Scott Pilgrim's Little Life, starring Michael Cera.

IT'S ALMOST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. One of my favorite actors collaborating with one of my favorite directors. In case anyone was wondering, Edgar Wright is the amazing dude who directed both Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. Edgar Wright is such a sheer perfectionist, almost to Kubrick craft.... this film better be amazing or my faith in a higher power may just be unrestorable forever.

YAY SUPERFICIAL SHOPPING POSTS.

I think I may actually go to bed before 11pm tonight... my friend Willa just videochatted me and I was like a fucking zombie. She kept asking me questions and I was giving her answers that didn't even correspond to the topic. Such is the life after staying up until 4am the night before smoking hookah and watching Mean Girls.

Today Clara and I went on a much needed shopping spree, on my part anyway. Shopping is such a bipolar area for me. My parents buy me all of my clothing for the most part, especially now that I have my own credit card. But the Jew in me always creeps out from the back of my mind and self-criticizes for spending so much money. How much is too much on clothing, really? I don't go shopping in fancy department stores or boutiques, H&M is my favorite store and they're relatively cheap. Though I also love American Apparel as of recent, especially with one so close to school in the city.

Anyway, I got a really cute springy dress in Urban Outfitters that is so not like what else I usually wear but i LOVE it. Plus I sometimes have a difficult time with Urban since they only go up to size L and I am not the skinniest girl in the world.... but this dress was surprisingly perfect in that aspect, too. Here is a picture, since words can only describe how I adore it to a certain extent..



I also bought a pair of flats, flip-flops, a scarfy bandana thing, a Union Jack tshirt, cute foliage earrings, some shirts from H&M, leggings, and a refill of some MAC eyeshadow that was running low. Overall, I would say it was an EXTREMELY successful shopping day! It also included some green tea ice cream, which is always a plus.

What I still need: A black fitted skirt, a black shirt with drapey sleeves for SX5, more leggings.

I also need to lose some fucking weight. Back to strict Slim Fast as soon as I wake up tomorrow, since I got disgustingly more heavy at school.... UGGHUGHUGUHGUHUGH.

To address in the next blog:
- How amazing the rest of my spring break is, once this has actually happened
- The excellence that is British Sea Power
- Learning guitar and eventually writing my own music.
- Other shenanigans, I'm sure.

I don't want to go to my video art class at 2pm but it seems like fair compensation for skipping my Conwest recitation earlier today. And at least my video art professor is kickass and not a cunt like my Conwest TA.

Just now I decided that I'm not cleaning our apartment before I go home for spring break. I know I'll be the one who ends up cleaning it since my roommates fucking suck and are disgusting pigs but if they don't care enough to put in the effort before we are gone for a week, then I'm not going to either. So there.

Speaking of roommates, I had a very awkward encounter with suitemate V this morning. I woke up to take a shower and get ready for my film recitation, and the bathroom door was slightly ajar so I thought I'd knock to be safe. No response, so I open the door....and she was standing there fully nude. Of course I apologized profusely, but why would you leave the door open AND not answer me if you're not wearing any clothes??! Needless to say, I didn't get to shower since she didn't get out until 10 minutes before I had to leave.

Pinkberry is delicious. The new one on St. Marks opened yesterday so Alex and I went down. He didn't enjoy it as much but it was his first time, so he'll be craving it like crack in a week accordingly. They probably make it with crack to be honest.

Oh and on the topic of food, last night I went to one of those chicken vendors outside of Palladium, the dorm down the street from mine, to get a really late dinner while working on a paper. It was the first time I've had chicken in a month so I was excited, and then I ask one of the Indian guys working there to put the white yogurty sauce on it that tastes really good. And you know what he says to me?

"Sure, some white sauce for the white girl.... get it? White because you are white skin!"

WHAT THE FUCK. I don't understand how someone could even have the audacity to say something like that in this day and age. I would never say something like that to anyone, no matter who they were or what color their skin was. And to a complete stranger who is buying food from you??? UGH, RACISM SUCKS. PERIOD.

why i shouldn't be allowed to have a blog: 1am on thursday edition

i'm looking through some pictures from the beginning of the school year and for some reason, it's leaving me super depressed. there is something so vivacious there in my face, something mildly excited and fresh and curious, something that has clouded over in my eyes since then. i used to be so happy-go-lucky and try my hardest to make everyone around me smile so that they'd be filled with just as much joy as i was. but lately i've felt like tarnished goods, like i'm malignant or spoiled in some way. the wiring between my head and heart is fragmented on the inside and the current can't flow through like it did before. i'm more blood than electricity these days, more cell than spark. i miss the feeling of being inhuman, of being invincible. it seems to be one defeat after another dragging me down chord by chord, sucking me dry from the socket. my battery has drained out of the energy i previously had to waste on making other people happy; now i don't even have it to use on myself. i'm running on empty. and i need to reboot before i crash completely.

What's wrong with you, eh lad?

This weekend was legit batshit insanity. Court (the artist formerly known as Courtface, now to henceforth be called Coco) came into the city and we went to Hanger Bar for Stolen Transmission. Nicole the bartender made me some weird ass drink with ginger cognac, which is weird b/c I like neither ginger NOR cognac unless mixed with something else...I also put in cherry juice. I liked it, everyone else thought it tasted like cough syrup. Maybe I'm more masochistic than I thought! We also went hookah and then came home and was appropriately tired.

Saturday was even more crazy, since it was my suitemate Eunsan's fashion show and I promised I'd help out. It was day of basically making phonecalls last minute to find models, buying a ton of fake eyelashes and stockings, and running around like a crazy person making sure everyone was in their costumes and had makeup done. But the show turned out great and everyone looked stunning! Eunsan went last, and let me tell you, her vinyl lingerie dominatrix line and our friends who wore the stuff were WAY more fun than the stuffy holier-than-thou shit that was coming down the runway first. With a song like "I'm So Horny" by Mousse T. playing in the background, it couldn't be anything other than fun.

A little later some unnecessary drunken shenanigans happened....it's not worth getting into but I will say it ended with a 7:30am trip to Times Square for breakfast and my roommate having to go to the emergency room the next day for a sliced finger. YOUR BLOOD IS LOOOOVE

And yesterday my love Willa came into the city to spend the night after roomie and I got back from the hospital. We had some silly times jamming to 90s dance tunes... La Bouche still makes me such a happy bitch. Combine this with delicious food from Curly's and my newest obsession, SoulCalibur 3 and it was a pretty awesome night overall. I was still a little depressed about some of the previous night's events but Willa coming to visit def cheered me up mucho.

Spring break needs to be here RIGHT NOW. I cannot do this functioning thing at school right now. I just want to go home and feel comfortable and relaxed and spend time with my friends from high school and see my family and my dog and drive around Long Island not caring how much gas I'm wasting and go to the beach and have brunch at Grand Lux Cafe and buy some new clothes for spring and just enjoy life.

Not that I don't enjoy life here, since I do....but I need my homely comfort. I miss it and my high school life a lot lately. Everything here just seems very complicated. Maybe its because I'm actually LIVING now... and that is sometimes a lot.

Long Island does NOT equal New Jersey.

Because Long Island doesn't smell like dead bodies. But i dunno, maybe it does in Suffolk county between Nassau and the Hamptons... wouldn't really know though!

This headache has lasted me legit two days and counting. I'm not sure what it is because Advil isn't helping and neither is Sudafed. Maybe I cracked my skull open accidentially in my sleep or something? Not really sure.

I skipped film class today because I wasn't feeling well and spent the day doing work, playing SoulCalibur III (which my friend Andy has gotten me addicted to...little does he know I get quite attached to fighting games), and working out at the gym. Oh and I also obvs caught the Project Runway finale... Christian FTW! It doesn't get any more fierce than that bitch.

Tomorow's plans are go to class ALL day, pick up some food and more Slim Fast on the way home from said classes, possibly hookah with roomie and her friend, go to Club NME once Courtface gets here, and not get so drunk that I can't wake up for class on Friday morning. I hate that this always feels like the end of the week, yet it never is.

it smells like garlic bread...not really sure why

I'm finally ready to start posting in here again. I guess there was really no reason for me to stop in the first place, but it just felt like i needed a break in lieu of ....things. So here I am again, friends.

I've been feeling sick all day, which started out actually last night when i a really bad headache started and the Advil i took never kicked in... then I woke up early today to do all my Spanish homework and ended up sleeping the rest of the day in because i felt so awful. I should probably be laying down again instead of sitting here in front of the computer. Oh well, c'est la vie.

Maybe it's from stress, seeing as this weekend was legit the ultimate FAIL of life. I didn't go to Club NME on Thursday night as i'd promised Samantha and Sarah since my stupid video project wasn't transferring to the tape all 50 times I tried. Then on Friday night I planned to hit up Stolen Transmission with a group of friends, but we ended up getting split up because of taxis and then some of them were carded and couldn't get in. It was a pretty quiet night anyway, so some of them wanted to go to a party at a dorm (which ended up being cancelled). We left around 2ish and went to Yaffa Cafe on St. Marks. LOVE. Saturday was just the ultimate trainwreck of a night that I'm not going to bother talking about, but i will say I ate some pretty good sushi that night.

The past two days caused me a lot more stress than was necessary. The second phase of applying for housing started yesterday, and a friend I was supposed to live with has just been a heinous bitch about the entire thing. I'm not going to get into technicalities because it's confusing as is, but I basically decided that I'm not going to live in the same suite as her next year. I've noticed recently that she's kind of subtly mean and catty towards me, and that makes me really sad. She has also blamed me in situations where I shouldn't have been singled out, or blame shouldn't have been appointed at all. I've never considered myself a pushover, but maybe I am in this case. It's probably because we spend so much time together, which I decided last night needs to stop right now. She just makes me so sad and aggravates me so, and I don't think it's fair for a friend to do that to another friend constantly.

Everyone else has been surprisingly awesome about the situation, though. I'm very relieved now that I chose to live with my roomie/suitemate again next year. Our only problems have been cleanliness thus far, but I think next year we'll be able to work out a cleaning schedule... plus, the dorm we want has dishwashers. HUZZAH. And this weekend should be considerably more awesome-filled since Court is coming on Thursday and Friday! Cross my heart and hope to die I'm going to NME...and Stolen Transmission, of course.

Other things new with life i guess:
- I started writing a song. I've got the intro/bridge but the rest still needs to work itself out.
- I'm half a season away from having seen all Arrested Development episodes. Kind of depressing!
- On the subject of TV, I've been suckered into The Office. What I'd give to date Jim Halpert....
- I'm truly horrible at getting over people, in both a romantic and non-romantic way.
- I've lost over 5lbs on my new diet! Suhweeeetness.

For not-so-anonymous readers.

I'm back at school a day earlier and for what? Not much apparently. I thought we'd be doing something fun tonight, but it seems that everyone is burnt out from the weekend's activities. Maybe I'll suggest watching some DVDs or playing Guitar Hero since we're apparently bumming tonight.

Tomorrow, I agreed to do a photoshoot with my friend Dani from Staten Island. I haven't seen that girl in fucking FOREVER, so I am REALLY stoked on it! The whole photoshoot thing is a little weird though, I'm not going to lie. I've taken pics of myself before but never had anyone else do it. Will be an interesting experience indeed... will post the photos if/when I get em!

all my friends have parties, ok? i think i'd know

In response to the question at the end of my last entry, apparently my entire family reads this blog. Thats cool guys. But honestly, it's kind of a relieving thing knowing that they all read about my life though the internet because writing in a journal is the most honest you can be. I have nothing to hide. They all see my drunk ass videos on youtube, anyway.

Speaking of drunk, CEOs and Office Hos was a TREMENDOUS success. Everyone got so trashed and a lot of ridiculous things happened because of that, including but not limited to: Alex chasing Brandon with a Swiffer (and subsequently smashing Brandon's cake with it), lots of people making out...will not name names.... lots of other kisses including yours truly, Natalia punching Brandon in the face and making him bleed/cry, my bed becoming soaking wet, Alex and I going on a random drunk expedition to Times Square, and Evan literally being unconscious when he is asleep. Willa and I tried for an entire hour to wake him up and I thought for a second he could be dead. But yeah, I had super fun and met a lot of new fun people and introduced my friends to one another. $120 of booze completely drained, though.

I was also told last night, whether it was in Times Square or in the cab ride home I can't remember, that I need to stop being such a bitter person. I'm not really sure what that means but it came from someone I care a lot about so I'm going to try to figure it out. People tell me I have attitude because I am from Long Island, but I've never actually been called bitter... maybe that I just hold out unnecessary aggression towards people? I DID say in a previous blog that I needed to become a nicer person....guess this is the final incentive towards step one.

But enough of that... now I am at home because I am having some sickly issues with my stomach. Earlier today, I literally thought I was dying or had to go to the hospital but I'm feeling a bit better now. I came home on the train with Willa before and I'm just sitting on my bed chilling until dinner is ready. For the record, the house REEKS of onion.

Party pictures:











LOLOLOLOL!

On whose authority? I have none over me

In a strange stroke of luck, Clara was buying a polaroid camera tonight and accidentally put two in her shopping cart, so she's giving me one of them! I'm kind of super stoked, since I'd been asking my mom for a while for her old one but it was so old that the film cost super mucho amounts. So happy Valentine's Day present to me I guess.

Speaking of Valentine's Day, I'm surprisingly down in the dumps about it. Life is so much easier when you buy those cheap cards from the drug store and stick candy on them for all of your classmates, secretly saving your favorite ones for your closest friends. No one feels left out on Valentine's Day in kindergarten.

I kind of want to go home again soon.

I've just finished bullshitting a paper on my thoughts concerning the History of the Peloponnesian War. Truthfully, I got through about fifteen pages before wanting to impale my eyes with sharp objects so I think it's best this way. My TA doesn't know I dislike the coursework greatly, I don't get penalized for not turning in work. Hoorah!

Here, have some pictures of the pretty snow yesterday:





I truly wonder if anyone secretly reads this......

And Dylan Moran's ass.

Last night was the free screening of Run, Fatboy, Run. I know it was released in the UK last year but they keep pushing it back here and thus the anticipation had been building. And I'm not going to lie...being an avid fan of Simon Pegg and all that he's previously done, I was kind of disappointed to see him in a cliché romantic comedy. There were some funny moments and I still find Simon devilishly handsome with that belly. But, the script was written by Michael Ian Black and Simon Pegg, and knowing THAT whilst seeing it pan out to be an unbelievable disaster (and hitting the bar way lower than either of their standards) was too much for me. Would I recommend seeing it? I suppose... I just know I'm not liking the mainstream direction that Pegg and his bunch are headed in (I'm dreading seeing him on screen with Kirsten Dunst). And David Schwimmer, who directed, pulled a Hitchcock towards the end of the film and handed Simon a beer. Go back to studying dinosaur bones, Ross Geller!